Introvert Starting A New Job

Dear Patti,

I'm starting a new job soon, and I'm worried about my introverted tendencies holding me back. What's the best way to get established and not mess things up socially? It seems like the first few days are critical because it determines how people view you going forward. I want to attempt to be likeable, even though my natural tendency is to not say too much. I need some kind of strategy to get through this. Help!

Introvert Here

Dear Introvert,

This seems like a great opportunity to level up your social persona! Since this is a workplace setting, I'm going to give you some ideas in the form of a workday To Do List:

1) Greet people, don't wait to be greeted. Use a bit of energy in your tone.

2) Light up a big smile when you make eye contact.

3) The first time you see someone familiar that day, give a friendly greeting such as "Good MORNING!" or "How ARE you?" or "Hey, how's it GOING?" That's a touch of friendliness, but keep moving unless you actually want a quick small talk conversation.

4) Once you know their names, use them. Once or twice a day is plenty, don't overdo it.

5) Pick out someone who looks like they might make a good workplace buddy and invite them to lunch. Explain you could use their help getting to know "how things work around here." Say that with a big friendly smile. Bonus: You may actually get to find out "how things work" around there.

6) After a few weeks or a month, bring in something to share. Doughnuts, pastries, veggie tray, whatever. (Maybe ask the person from #5 what people like.)

7) Use a friendly tone of voice whenever someone engages you. That means not a monotone, something that pushes a little warmth out there.

8) If people offer some information about their lives, try to remember it, or make a few notes somewhere, and ask about it when you have another chance to talk. Drop a bit of info about yourself, too, although obviously you get to decide how much you're comfortable with. That's how office friendships are formed.

9) If there are any office events, try to go and connect. Whether it be a workplace lunch, after hours social, party or whatever.

10) Push yourself to have a small talk conversation each day. You can decide how big your work orbit should be, but I'd try to spread it around and make sure you get at least one in DAILY. Consider it a Social Exercise Routine.

Good luck on the new job!