Okay this is a weird one but I'm not even saying hi because that's my problem. I admit I have bad social skills. So I'm not great at small talk. But lately it seems like people start rejecting me as soon as I say "Hi." I mean, crazy, right? I feel like the sound of me saying something is triggering an avoidance response in people. It's like I immediately hit them with the awkward hammer as soon as I open my mouth. This isn't all in my head, right? What gives?
Tall, Dark and Awkward
Dear TD&A,
It's tough dealing with rejection before you can barely even get a word out. But no, I don't think you're imagining things. Funny thing is I talk about this in my book (Change Your Vibe: How to Lifehack Your Way to Social Success), and spend a couple paragraphs on the word "Hi," and how it should be said in order to create a good reaction.
The point is that people CAN feel your whole demeanor from your tone of voice, so even that one word can tell them a LOT about you. So, am I saying you should change your tone? Yes, that's one thing you'll need to work on.
But the best thing to change is your MINDSET, and your ability to effectively communicate what's in your heart. For example, if you're feeling socially fearful, withdrawn, disengaged, bored, uncertain, panicky, or any other negative emotion, people will pick up on that even if you're trying to communicate the opposite. That's why I think TRUE change has to start in the heart, expand in the mind and then permeate your whole self. That's when you can bring a newly transformed "you" to the world, one social interaction at a time.
In other words, people can and do "feel your vibe," pretty much immediately, so that's the thing you need to work on changing.
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